The lighter side of government
Decyphering committee jargon

Private sector or public sector, committees are a fact of life. People say tongue-in-cheek that a camel is a horse designed by a committee, but not only did committees put humans on the moon, even if the camel analogy were true, a camel is perfectly designed for the desert environment over which it has efficiently transported people and goods for many centuries.

I received what appears to be a magazine clipping from Alberta from a friend. I have no other attribution for the source of the article, but I thought it was a pretty amusing look at committee jargon. If you know where it came from, please advise. Well-lead and focused, committees can do great things. We all have our stories of do-nothing and ineffective committees as well, If you have one that's worth repeating, send it to me.

What the committee chair/report says	What it often seems to mean
We have evaluated the situation...	Half the members showed up and chatted for a while.
The committee explored all possible solutions to the problem.	Everybody talked a lot.
A great deal of additional work will be necessary before the proposal can be acted upon.	Nobody understood what was proposed.
Results were inconclusive.	Nothing was accomplished.
While no agreement was reached, we feel that definite progress was made toward resolving differences.	Nobody budged an inch!
The estimate has been made that...	Somebody made an unsubstantiated guess
It has been suggested that the wisest and the most feasible course is...	This is what I think!
It is widely accepted that...	One other person agrees with me.
Therefore, the consensus is...	A couple of others think so too!
As yet, it has not been possible to provide definite solutions.	Nobody understood the questions or the agenda.
The prospects for success appear...	"excellent" (fair); "good" (so-so); "fair" (poor); "doubtful" (non-existent)
Further investigation is recommended.	Somebody upstairs wants it delayed indefinitely.
This concludes the committee's appraisal of the situation.	We absolve ourselves of all future responsibility, and wash our hands of the whole thing.

   Date posted: Friday, July 15, 2005